Dreams And Aspirations
What do you think your life is? What you are now or what do you feel it to be?
As I wrote this lines for one of my stories, I smiled. I smiled because my life and it's choices came in front of me.
I was born to an Engineer father. My father was a Chemical Engineer not because he had to but because he wanted to. He was good in what he did. He loved his job. I started of as a topper and so obviously a middle class family's dreams would see me as an Engineer or Doctor. As I grew up in Gwalior I invariably saw all my seniors jumping in to become an Engineer or Doctor. But I never saw myself becoming one. My father took care of my choice he spoon fed me these lines.
"I want to become an IT Engineer"
Funny I didn't understand what "Information Technology was. I as a kid wanted to become a teacher. I grew up and wanted to become an Archaeologist, a Geologist, a wildlife photographer or explorer. Every time I made my wish verbal I was made fun off. These were non practical choices but somewhere my mother understood I just didn't want to be an engineer. Unluckily all my dreams came to a halt when I scored well in Science and Maths in Class Ten. I was pushed into Science (Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics, Computer Science, English). Those two years were nightmare for me. I lost all my confidence in myself. I became unbearably introvert, I hid myself in a cocoon. In class twelve my Mother convinced my father to let me have Psychology instead of Computers. I was elated but my father was disappointed.Everyday passed like a living hell and this was the time I took up writing seriously (I am writing since I was ten). I was discouraged but kept on writing as I felt it is my only sanctuary. The class twelve results were not up to the mark and somehow my father was convinced that engineering was not for me. He was disheartened but said yes to my pursuing English Honours.
"Your career is finished now make the most of what is left."
These words from my father while filling application for B.A. still haunts me and motivates me some how. I was happy that I got what I loved "Literature" I did well and regained my confidence. my Dad was now proud of me as he understood this is what I was meant for.
"You are doing good, actually great."
I wanted to do a Phd. in English Literature. I wanted to write, be a journalist may be or wanted to be in civil services. I was living my dream, my life but then one fine day just a day after my graduation results were out I heard these words.
"Your Father is no more."
I grew thirty years in a single go that day. Now life was not about dreams and aspirations it was about survival. So, I locked my dreams and started working in the first organization I got an offer. I didn't care about the job profile. I didn't care for my dreams.
But dreams never die. My dreams lived all this. I have seen nothing there are people who have faced hell but they still smile and still dream. So, dreams never die. Aspirations will fly, maybe a bit late but they will. We just have to believe in them as if our life depended on it.
Signing off hoping that our Dreams live more than we live. So, that they become our soul.
As I wrote this lines for one of my stories, I smiled. I smiled because my life and it's choices came in front of me.
I was born to an Engineer father. My father was a Chemical Engineer not because he had to but because he wanted to. He was good in what he did. He loved his job. I started of as a topper and so obviously a middle class family's dreams would see me as an Engineer or Doctor. As I grew up in Gwalior I invariably saw all my seniors jumping in to become an Engineer or Doctor. But I never saw myself becoming one. My father took care of my choice he spoon fed me these lines.
"I want to become an IT Engineer"
Funny I didn't understand what "Information Technology was. I as a kid wanted to become a teacher. I grew up and wanted to become an Archaeologist, a Geologist, a wildlife photographer or explorer. Every time I made my wish verbal I was made fun off. These were non practical choices but somewhere my mother understood I just didn't want to be an engineer. Unluckily all my dreams came to a halt when I scored well in Science and Maths in Class Ten. I was pushed into Science (Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics, Computer Science, English). Those two years were nightmare for me. I lost all my confidence in myself. I became unbearably introvert, I hid myself in a cocoon. In class twelve my Mother convinced my father to let me have Psychology instead of Computers. I was elated but my father was disappointed.Everyday passed like a living hell and this was the time I took up writing seriously (I am writing since I was ten). I was discouraged but kept on writing as I felt it is my only sanctuary. The class twelve results were not up to the mark and somehow my father was convinced that engineering was not for me. He was disheartened but said yes to my pursuing English Honours.
"Your career is finished now make the most of what is left."
These words from my father while filling application for B.A. still haunts me and motivates me some how. I was happy that I got what I loved "Literature" I did well and regained my confidence. my Dad was now proud of me as he understood this is what I was meant for.
"You are doing good, actually great."
I wanted to do a Phd. in English Literature. I wanted to write, be a journalist may be or wanted to be in civil services. I was living my dream, my life but then one fine day just a day after my graduation results were out I heard these words.
"Your Father is no more."
I grew thirty years in a single go that day. Now life was not about dreams and aspirations it was about survival. So, I locked my dreams and started working in the first organization I got an offer. I didn't care about the job profile. I didn't care for my dreams.
But dreams never die. My dreams lived all this. I have seen nothing there are people who have faced hell but they still smile and still dream. So, dreams never die. Aspirations will fly, maybe a bit late but they will. We just have to believe in them as if our life depended on it.
Signing off hoping that our Dreams live more than we live. So, that they become our soul.
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